In this video we are going to be talking about communicating from the true self. I often hear people say, nobody likes it when I speak my truth, and we are going to be diving in to how to actually honor ourselves and honor the people in our life by giving voice to our deepest, deepest truth.
Before we dive into that, I want to let you know that I wrote a book for you. Align: Living and Loving from the True Self is a comprehensive map of how to come back home to the truth of who you are, and how to honor your alignment as you connect with the people in your life. Align is available on Amazon and Barnes and noble com. I also created these self-guided alignment cards. There are 48 cards in this deck, and each card has a wisdom teaching and a sentence to to support you, and living and loving from your true self. These cards are a wonderful addition to your own contemplative practice to work with clients, group therapy, or even parties and intimate relating, if the people in your life like to dive deep, these are only available on my website, the spiritually aligned.com.
So I often hear people say that when I speak my truth it doesn’t work, or people don’t like it. When I speak my truth and this makes sense to me, because so oftentimes people are speaking from their projections and calling it their truth. They are denying something inside of themselves, putting it on to another person, and calling it truth. And when we believe that truth exists in our mind, that reality lives in our ego, then our language patterns, and the expression of what’s happening inside of us is actually a reflection of our ego, not of our deeper, deeper truth. I often will say that it’s not about what you say or about what you do, but about the place within yourself from which you speak or act, and what that means is that when we are speaking from our ego, or enacting patterns or expressions in the world that come from our ego. Even if we are really trying to do what we think is right, the mind and the ego can distort that energy in such a way that the impact that we see in the world around us is wonky or off balanced, we can literally say or do the exact same thing, but from a deeper, truer place within ourselves, and the impact can be completely different.
For example, I can say to my beloved that I love you, and if I’m saying I love you from my wound or from my ego. I’m trying to control my beloved, or get something or earn something from this words of I love you, I love you so much. It can be this energy of trying to grasp or get something as opposed to being deep within myself, and speaking on behalf of my deepest, truest truth an expression of love, and that those words of I love you can be liberating and freeing and connecting when I speak from my deepest expression.
And so, when we are actually in a state of pain, of believing lack of trying to get energy from somebody else, or trying to give energy away our words. And our actions can be very disconnecting can be controlling, can be manipulative, can have a lot of shadowy, subversive, energetic expressions within the words, even if we are really really trying to speak on behalf of our vulnerable, deeper truth.
So my first tip or invitation for you is to recognize that speaking your truth actually isn’t about what you’re saying. It’s about the place within yourself from which you speak. And so just take a moment and just scan your inner world and notice where your energy is seated?
Are you up here in your mind? Are you here in your heart? Are you down further in your belly, or are you in your limitless expression of your true self.
Tto move to this limitless expression of the true self, we need to regulate our nervous system. because when the nervous system is contracted the mind starts trying to find survival. And so, if we are noticing the mind, looping or trying to control the world around us. feel the sensations in the body make room around the nervous system expression. We’ll just do that right now together. A nice breath creating more spaciousness. deepening into our ability to be available for ourself and to contact ourself. And from this place of contact we can become more clear on what our deepest truth is when we are speaking our truth. If we are trying to control somebody, or convince somebody of our truth being what is the truth, then we are in our ego, and our words are disconnecting, and nobody’s going to like it. When we speak our quote unquote truth when our words get to the deeper expression of our vulnerability, of our deeper Y, where we are in our full self-responsibility.
Our truth can be extremely connecting, extremely clarifying, and extremely liberating and freeing. So when your words are in arguable, when you’re fully owning what’s happening inside of you is yours. Then your words are connecting in the wonderful book by Dr. Susan Campbell getting real. She says that we are either speaking for control or we are speaking for connection, and so getting clear on. The intention behind our words is really essential in finding the words of our true self. The true self can always go for connection and completely. Let’s go of, and has no need for control. And so sometimes the mind can convince us that we are speaking our truth to try to get connection, because if this other person knew what was happening inside of us, we would have. we would have connection but to have any agenda in the connection that somebody understands me. That is a control. It’s a subversive control.
When we are truly in connection, we have let go of control, and we are open and we are connected to ourself, and there’s an invitation. If somebody wants to hear what’s happening for us, then we can be available for that. Their genuine curiosity can lead that. But we don’t have that agenda. And so when we find ourselves in a situation where we want to be known in our experience, we have an opportunity to know ourselves in that experience, to be the person that we want in our life to know that we can see ourselves in what’s happening. We can honor what’s happening within ourselves, and we can love ourselves and validate ourselves in what’s happening for us in such a way that we actually don’t need it from somebody else, we can invite it. We’re open to receiving it, if that’s what’s there. But we don’t need it from the other person, because we have given ourselves that thing that we are requiring the attachment system really likes to be met in in a sense of sameness. So, for example, if I have this strong desire for connection, the attachment system wants to be met in that same meeting of desire.
And so, when we are looking to that outside of ourselves. There can be this tendency to try to control or solve, to get met in that way. But really the key out of that pattern is to meet ourselves in that same quality of wanting. wanting ourselves in that same desire, and listening to ourselves in that same way that the attachment system wants to be listened to, so that we create a secure connection with ourself. We attach to self. and our spiritual nature meets that human wound in that way, that the attachment system wants, so that when we meet our relationships we are meeting them from that secure connection with ourself. From this place our words flow with more ease, with more grace, and with more deep, deep truth.
So I want to remind you, your truth is always about you. Your truth is never about somebody else. So, for example, if your mind wants to say that that person can’t keep doing this to me, the truth of that is, I’m not available for this. so the boundary is the same, but one is an expression of ourselves which is an arguable nobody can tell us. No, we are available for that one. No, we are not available for it. But we can argue that person can’t do that anymore. That becomes an entanglement pattern and invitation for conflict. So our truth is always about us. It always gets to the deeper aspect of what’s happening inside of us. And it typically feels very vulnerable to share, but also very clarifying, and we feel more regulated and more present and expansive for having spoken our truth if we feel contracted and in a fight that’s not our truth if we feel in our body in our expanded self. That’s how we know that we are in our truth.
So I want to invite you to my new course, living your alignment, you can find it on my website, the spiritually aligned Com. And I also have this beautiful course spiritually aligned relationships that teach you how to navigate your deepest intimacy with the people in your life. Also on my website, the spiritually aligned Com. And if you are a coach or a therapist, and you’re wanting to learn how to facilitate alignment. There are many courses on my website to empower you to honor the subtle energy of your clients to guide them back home to the truth of who they are, and how to stay in your alignment, as you hold sacred space for your clients. Thank you so much for listening today and wishing you deep, deep, deep connection with yourself as you give voice to your deepest truth.