The number one question that I get from people is how to live in alignment with the truth of who they are. Once we find our way back home to the core of our being, and we can access this deeply sacred place within ourselves. How do we actually engage with the world in such a way that supports us in staying in alignment? I’m going to address that question today in this video, before I do, I want to share with you my new book, a line living and loving from the true self. A line offers a comprehensive map of how to come back home to the truth of who you are and how to live and love. From this deeply sacred place within yourself.
“I want to begin actually, by having you close your eyes and just take a moment to notice what it feels like to be you. With your inhale, take a nice loving breath where you really welcome everything you find within yourself. And as you exhale, just let the breath go and surrender into your seat. Taking a couple more breaths like that, and scan your inner world to just notice how you’re feeling as you breathe in this moment. This ability to look within and sense into your whole being is integral to your ability to live in alignment with the truth of who you are.
If you’re anything like me, you have condition patterns that cause you to ignore, deny, move on from what you’re feeling inside of your body, and to keep the peace and to keep everything functioning really well at the cost of what’s happening here inside of your being. And when we do that, when we ignore what we’re feeling in our body. We come out of alignment. We start looking into the world around us for our sense of safety, and we lose touch with this deeply sacred place within ourselves, we lose touch with our alignment. So I really love to combine a neurobiological approach to psychotherapy and coaching with a spiritual and more esoteric and transpersonal approach to psychotherapy and coaching and from the lens of neurobiology which really studies the way the nervous system and our thinking interacts. And also the way the nervous system and our thinking interacts with the social engagement system with the world around us.
We’ve learned that the amygdala, the emotional center of the brain is constantly scanning the environment for threats to our safety. And there are 4 threats that the amygdala is scanning the environment:
- Physical Threat
So if somebody in our field. it seems angry, right? The amygdala might get activated judgment. This is partly why public speaking is such a great fear because the amygdala starts really, really getting activated? Is somebody here judging me? Am I going to be judged. Incongruence? So is there somebody in my field who isn’t actually connected with what they are saying? Are their words incongruent with their truer experience? And, lastly, is the unknown and the unknown is the greatest threat to the amygdala, and when there’s a big unknown in our life, the mind can start making up narratives and stories and filling in the unknown with worst case scenario.
But today, in this video, I am going to be talking about congruence. because through the spiritual lens, we see that the world around us is actually a holographic expression of the world within us. So as the amygdala is scanning the environment for threats to safety, and feels unsafe, and feels the threat of somebody else’s in congruence. We also feel unsafe when we ourselves are in congruent, and when we ourselves are incongruent, we are denying and ignoring what we are feeling deeply within our body, and we are moving in some pattern around what we are actually feeling. Instead of turning towards and looking within ourselves.
The only way that we can truly be congruent is, if we actually have an inner eye anchored within ourselves to know what is true for us. Now this idea of speaking our truth and knowing what’s true for us, can get convoluted when we think that our truth lives in our mind. When we are actually in our deeper sense of interception, which is that ability to sense into our whole being and really optimize our ability to look within that is, when we can really discover the deepest, deepest truth for ourselves. And I want to remind you that your truth is always about you. Your truth isn’t about somebody else. If you are speaking about somebody else as if it is the truth, you are in all likelihood speaking from a projection where you are denying something inside of yourself, and putting it on to another person looking within with this beautiful sacred ability to sense into our whole being is the way to stay in our alignment.
Once we find our way back into alignment, and vitality is flowing through us with such ease, and we feel alive, and we remember who we truly are. Life still happens right? We still go to work, engage with the people around us, and the nervous system which you know connects with the amygdala. But the nervous system might have this threat to safety that causes everything to contract the amygdala to get activated and to turn towards ourselves, and not only regulate our nervous system, but be in such a way where we are congruent with ourselves. This is how we build a life that is in alignment with who we truly are.
I have experienced and seen so many lives that are built off of incongruence. And once we start to move by the way of in congruence where we’re doing something that we don’t actually want to do where we’re staying in a relationship that we don’t actually want to stay in when we hug somebody that we don’t actually want to hug when we have sex. And we don’t actually want to have sex when we are doing anything that is not a full yes, for our system. And when we do that we actually are ignoring ourselves.
If we build a life based on that in congruence one day we sort of look around and are just completely devastated by this life that we’ve built. And unfortunately, so many of us haven’t learned how to be congruent. and when we aren’t congruent we are a safe space for ourselves, and that safety, even as I say, that I can feel down into my route into the seat. Our safety lives right here within us, and we are truly the only ones who know what is congruent with our alignment. So the definition that I have come up with for alignment is when our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions are congruent with the truth of who we are.
I really believe that this is an ongoing practice. This isn’t something that we do once we know how to do it, and we can just move on and forget about it. It’s something that we need to continually do to check in, and to discover our own congruence and our own alignment, and have the courage to trust ourselves enough to do the deeper, truer thing, even if we feel scared if we are unsure of how the people in our life will respond when they know that we are acting in accordance to our deepest, deepest truth. And so with that, I wish you so many blessings as you learn how to live and love from your truest self. I also want to remind you that I have new online courses living. Your alignment is for everybody spiritually aligned relationships also for everybody. And then I have so many courses for therapists and coaches, to learn how to facilitate alignment. And you can check that out on my website. There will be a link in the comments blessings to you on your sacred journey.